how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
