A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
