So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
