Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
