My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
