Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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