there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
