somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
