i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
