how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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