He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
