Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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