i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
