i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize
