Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
