I'm drive I can fine osifer
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
did you just send me my own nude
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
