What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
