He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize