i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
