so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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