And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
