Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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