see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
