So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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