Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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