I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
