is your mom at the bar?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
