Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
