i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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