I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize