YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
