It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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