I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
