My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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