I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
