come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
