It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
