I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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