ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
