CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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