I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
