I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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