I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
