I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
