I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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