i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize