I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
