Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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