I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
