Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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