A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
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