But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
