This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
