Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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