I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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