she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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