dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
