Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
