I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Crop dusting thru forever 21
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
