im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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