I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize