Have you finally orgasmed yet?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
