So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
