what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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